Children of the Corn

I'm not sure if it was Xrad or I who was the first to refer to our children as "Children of the Corn" in a moment of chaos. I babysit her kids regularly and they are often really "creatively behaved" - frequently inspiring me to feel crazy.  Mine just get psycho hyper and only sometimes inspire me to feel crazy - ESPECIALLY when they're tired.


Take for example what's happening right now:

The Mermaid and Fairy Princess have just emerged from the bath.  They are chasing each other around the front room trying to "kick each other in the nuts".  Um, they're both girls, remember?  The Mermaid just slipped on the floor, due to her wet feet and conked her head on the hardwood floor with a resounding "KONK".

Now she's wailing as if the world were about to end while The Fairy Princess is doing the chicken dance.

1 min later: Mermaid's jumping on the couch - upside down
22 seconds later later: She's emptied a puzzle onto the floor.
Concurrently:  Fairy Princess is asking me if her hair looks clean
Concurrently:  Mermaid is singing that she doesn't want to go to school tomorrow
Oh, and now Fairy Princess is reciting over and over again, as if repeating a spiritual mantra, "I wanna go to bed I wanna go to bed I wanna go to bed I wanna go to bed" WHILE doing the chicken dance -- oh wait, now they're both repeating it and jumping on the couch upside down.
Now Mermaid is sitting in the middle of the floor asking Fairy Princess to guess where she is.....

And, like the Energizer Bunny, it's going on and on and on and onnnnnnnnnnnnnnn

Pause here -- You know, ESPECIALLY since they're requesting it over and over again via their mantra, I'm gonna go put them in bed right now... back in a sec......

Oh, wait, their jammas aren't on yet and they're asking to play on the computer, asking for a snack (dinner was 30 mins ago), asking to watch a movie, asking to call their dad, asking to wash the dishes, asking if we can decorate for Halloween, asking if they can play at their cousins' house . . .

Um, no.

Supervising the putting-on of  jammas on and THEN putting them into bed.  Be back in a few . . .
...
...
Visiting for a sec while they brush their teeth.  Fairy Princess just informed me that she has a movie theatre in her mouth playing a Barbie movie, and that there are also Dora Germs she's getting rid of.  (When I assist them with brushing, I make silly comments about how I can see polka-dot bugs or fishy bugs, or whatever else kind of bugs in their mouths and I talk and sing to those bugs as I brush them away.  Mermaid still believes that I'm actually seeing real physical Germ Bugs, and laments that I can see them and she can't.  "I'm looking with my Fairy Eyes," I tell her.  Fairy Princess, however, caught quite quickly and plays along with gusto.)  K - back to brushing and bedtime . . .

...
...
...
...

Today was Crazy Hair Day at Mermaid's school.  In honor of the fine occasion, I put Fairy Princess', Lady Leprechaun's and My hair up into fancy multi-colored 'do's as well.  Perhaps it was my rainbow-striped-sparkly fauxhawk that inspired them to lick the inside of every freezer door in the supermarket while I was selecting frozen vegetables.  Maybe it was Mermaid's little extra boost of confidence from having the Coolest Crazy Hair in Kindergarten that led her to do cartwheels in the baby food aisle.  It could have been the fact that Lady Leprechaun only had two colors in her hair while the rest of us were veritable rainbow-heads that inspired her to bite Dream Boy because he got to ride in the seat of the shopping cart and she got stuck in the basket.  Or maybe that's why she stacked up the bread to make a seat for herself there ... I wonder ...

As a general rule, my Rugrats are exceptionally well-behaved.  They're smart, cute and follow instructions nicely (I abhor the word "obey").  They're courteous, helpful and friendly --- even with their own siblings.   There is not a friend's house they've visited whose mother hasn't complimented me on their fantastic manners and genial personalities.


Today, however, they have absolutely earned the title "Children of the Corn."

.... and they're asleep AT LAST!  (ha ha, it's not even 8:30 pm yet ... "at last" ... ha ha!!)

One last note:  Xrad called her grommies "Children of the Corn" the other day.  Her 8 year old daughter, Oddie, asked, "Mom, why do you always call us that?"   Xrad replied, "Because I'm beginning to believe that you're Demon Spawn."  Oddie only took a split second to respond:

"Mom, doesn't that make you a demon?"

Rock On SmartyPants!